It’s a nice day outside, despite the wind. I’ve got to do some house work. Typical.
A warning. There was a dangerously high level of stupidity at my supermarket today. It may not be confined to that one location though. Take care out there.
Using PowerPoint isn’t a sign of computer literacy. It’s a sign of a complete lack of higher-level reasoning and empathy.
Meeting randoms can be fun. Meeting crazies at the tram stop, less so.
OK, I was doing a little mobile phone shopping today.
I had one of those strange moments waiting to cross the street, when the little green man light up to tell everyone to start walking. As it was on Swanston Street at lunchtime there was a large crowd and there was that human wave of movement as everyone lurched forward almost simultaneously.
Everyone that is, except for the people at the front. It was that weird kind of feeling that none of the people at the front wanted to be the first person to take a step out onto the street. It was like no one wanted the responsibility. No leaders in that group I guess.
Anyway, it got to the stage where I was wondering with what kind of criminal charges could be laid against you for pushing some onto the street, when the little green man is telling you they have right of way when someone got the tide moving.
As I crossed the street I wondered if this minor thing, with it overtones of strangeness, would be the oddest thing that would happen to me today.
Nope.
I was in a Telstra store, talking to a sales guy about iPhones. Yes, I’m considering getting one. Call me a geek if you will, or a wanker. But I’d prefer if it you tried to combine the words. Genker? A Weenk? May have to think about this for a bit longer.
Anyway, chatting and rapidly slowly falling for the sales pitch when behind me was this god damn awful scream. I mean I thought someone had opened a flip phone and lost an eye, or someone’s leg had spontaneously fallen off.
I turn around and this professional looking woman, nicely dressed, mid thirties (I guess) is going totally. apeshit. crazy.
She is screaming at some sales guy. From what I can pick up her phone has stopped working, is still under contract, but out of warranty. Something I’m a little sympathetic too, because that’s my situation.
Anyway, she is yelling at the top of her voice. I mean it’s one of those times where the person is screaming words, not just yelling. Like you couldn’t help but to wonder what damage it’s doing to her vocal cords. She’s made the sales guy back up all the way across the store. I mean he was a good foot and a half taller than her and looked built enough that he could pick her up and throw her away with on hand, so I’m guessing he was backing away mainly cause he didn’t have any hearing protection aids on him and was afraid of permanent damage to his ears.
Personally, I liked the bit when the woman screamed “It’s rage against Telstra!” And turned around to address the whole store “Who’s with me people, it’s rage against Telstra.”
Anyway, she gets it out of her system. Is asked to leave the store, refuses and spent the next 10 minutes waiting for the cops to turn up so they can escort her off.
I kinda tuned back out at this point and the sales guy serving me had completely lost his chain of thought so I made an escape to check out some other stores before deciding what I was going to do.
I quickly worked out that the best deal I was going to get was at Telstra. So I ended up going back, pick out a plan and started to work out the contract.
Now, I don’t have a full drivers licence. Only a learner’s permit. They said they couldn’t accept those as id. Even though it’s what I’ve used for id to get every mobile I’ve ever owned. Including my last one from Telstra. Over 18 months ago. Yeap, I went in there a Telstra customer, with bills, id and bank cards. I sat there as he went through my existing contract in front of me on the computer. But I couldn’t get the phone today because my driver’s licence is a learners…
It’s rage against Telstra, people. Rage against Telstra.
Yeap, that’s the best I can do for a title at the moment.
I’m feeling a little like this;
To prove the point about what I said in my previous post about doing something stupid, I threw my back out on Sunday helping to load up a skip. It still pains me pretty much all the time and I haven’t really had a good nights sleep in the last couple of days.
On top of that, I’ve just been through one of those financial moments where I simply couldn’t work out how I had so little money and so many bills. Fortunately the end is in sight and at least that problem is back under control.
Also, my mobile has become possessed and is ringing people in at random. On Monday it rang one person 4 times at around 12:30 in the morning. So I’m expecting a restraining order in the mail any day now. Or a letter bomb. Or both.
And just to cap it off, I feel like I haven’t had any ‘chill out’ time for weeks. I still haven’t done any drawing of late. The above one was something I did back in my late teens. I must have scribbled it on a passing dinosaur.
So really, between the pain, the lack of sleep, the stress, the annoyances and the frustration, I’m starting to feel a little grumpy.
I hope you all are doing better…
Sorry for the prolonged silence. Unfortunately this weekend is going to be a bit of a write-off as well.
My old flatmates, husband and wife pair, have been doing major renovations to their house. They’ve pulled down the back half and having been living without a proper kitchen, bathroom or toilet (they’ve got this deluxe port-a-loo, complete with shower sitting in their front yard) for a while now.
Oh, and did I mention the wife is only around 2 weeks off giving birth to their first child.
So, despite my record of measuring twice, cutting once and swearing a 1000 times, cause I’ve still managed to stuff it up, I’ve volunteered to help them out with some of the tasks they are doing themselves.
It does feel good to do some physical work, but I’m getting home and really feeling too tired to write about the stupid things I seem to do in my life. However, you can rest assured, I’m still doing stupid things!
The other downside is that I haven’t been drawing much of late. Which I’m finding incredibly frustrating. But I’ve got a couple of ideas for a special project.
Top secret for now…
Quick post for now. I’ll try to put up some random ramblings and or sketches later in the weekend…
In the meantime watch this…
OK, I’m a trying to get my Monday Project submission in on time.
So, first the picture, then as standard the explanation.
First of all, I have to say this wasn’t my first idea. Actually, as I explained in this post, I wasn’t planning to draw anything like this at all, I just stumble across it trying to work out a pattern to use. That idea was of a stylised series of ripples, drawn to look like a wood carving. Got it?
No, neither did I!
But even that wasn’t my first idea. I had a few cartoon ideas, but I had one little problem. Mainly, I’ve lately been enjoying to a rather insane amount Ben Zen’s blog. There is something about his characters, like this picture. I love the amount of character and emotions he gets out of the amount of line work he uses.
So I was finding that the cartoons I had pictured had characters in it that were obviously inspired by Ben Zen’s work. Since I have been too lazy to comment on his blog, I didn’t feel right about following through with this.
Anyway, so I went with the wood-carved-water-drawn-with-pencils idea.
But that was a lot of work.
So when I stumbled on the above picture, I decided to just run with it. The funny thing I can remember my art teacher from year 11 saying if you were going to do an ‘action’ picture (and I did think “jumping in puddles” had a bit of movement and action to it) why not draw just before or after the event.
So here is my picture, a puddle just after it’s been jump in… and out of!
[Note; For some reason the scan of the picture was pretty lousy. I’ve done myself a small injury and wasn’t in the mood to spend too much time on the computer when I was posting this. I may try to upload a cleaner version later on…]
The other day I had a meeting at work I had to go to.
It was basically a meeting to explain the drastic restructure that management rushed into implementing last year and how it really wasn’t working so they maybe wanted some feedback from the staff who actually do the work while they work out what the hell to do next. Though of course, they didn’t call it that. It was a ‘future’ meeting. I was sorely disappointed when no one mentioned time travel even once.
Of course, the cynic in me believes it was more of a meeting about the drastic restructure management rushed into implementing last year and how it really wasn’t working and while they already had come up with another half arsed plan that they are going to implement no matter what, they wanted a meeting with the staff so we can feel ‘involved’. Plus, that way when it doesn’t work, they can spread the blame around a bit more.
Anyway, since it was such an important meeting and I am such a valuable and keen employee *cough* *cough* I took a notebook and pen with me to capture the moment. After all, it was a meeting that ended up going for three and a half hours. We had a lot of vital information to absorb.
Now at great personal risk to my career and in a complete breech of corporate privacy, I have decided to share all of my notes with you in full. For those of you unexperienced in the corporate world, the way large profit driven companies develop strategies prepared to be shocked…
P.S. Oh, yeah. I didn’t get the 2IC role. I am shocked and/or horrrified!
Subtitle; A brief history of mr sketchy.
OK, first of all if you go back to my very first post you’ll see my storybook picture for the Monday Project. But if I’m honest, that wasn’t my first post. I wrote two others, but I deleted them before taking the blog in a different direction.
I started reading blogs more years ago than I can remember. The first blog I can remember getting into was the cartoonist Tom Tomorrow. After that I got into a lot of political blogs and a few other cartoonists. Over the years I’ve built up over a dozen blogs I read regularly if not daily. But never had I been tempted to try blogging myself.
Then when I was going through a extended quiet period at work that was rapidly eating through my sanity, I came across this post
One of the first times I had laughed out loud reading a blog. I soon came across this one.
That was it, I was hooked.
The Bloggess has to be the most enjoyable blog on the face of the planet. Or the internet. If that has a face. Ok that has gone horribly wrong. The thing is The Bloggess simply writes the way I wish I could. She has the type of humour that I wish I were brave enough to say (or write).
It was her blog that finally inspired me to give blogging an attempt myself.
Now this is the embarrassing part….
A couple of Fridays ago I had a lot to drink, including red wine, which I normally avoid cause it has a habit of knocking me totally on my arse. So in this state, I made the unwise choice of getting on the internet.
Now I had always planned to write a post like this acknowledging the influence and inspiration of the bloggess. But while I was barely able to type, I thought I’d write my very first fan letter ever instead.
Yeap… you can see where this is going…
My subject line was “I would totally stalk you but I can’t be bothered…”
I didn’t do myself any favours after that either. I rambled on about how cool I thought her blog was, then somehow got onto rambling about some other blogs that were cool, Catacombe Creative and The Monday Project.
I also suggest some sort of weird reverse interview thing, which I thought was really amusing at the time, but on reflection, no, Not so much.
Anyway, I hit ‘send ‘and promptly passed out. The next morning I woke up, remembered the email and promptly put it that well used part of my mind which houses embarrassing things I’ve done while drunk and am determined the best course of action is simply not think about it ever again.
So imagine my surprise when she actually sent a cool reply. Actually apologising for taking a few days…
How freaking cool is that?
Honestly, you have to go read The Bloggess. Click the link or you’re dead to me!
First of all, let me say I’ve never written a review in my life. I think it has something to do with the number of times the word “tasteless” has been used to describe my opinions…
But I’ve decided to move beyond that, simply because this is something that needs to be told.
Circus Oz rocks. Really, that is what it all comes down to!
..
PS. I’ve just been told that isn’t really a review. In fact it has been rudely pointed out that it barely qualifies as a thought! So for all those people that demand that ‘information’ thing…
The Circus Oz show is an incredible mix of skill and laughter delivered by a performance group with a social conscience.
The performers are all multi-skilled, allowing a variety of acts including, trapeze, tumbling, skating, feats of strength, incredible rope work and an interesting integration of music into the show…
There was less of an overall theme to the show this year as there has been in previous seasons, however several of the acts are related and characters make repeat appearances throughout the show, separated by acts that are just amazing to watch. In many cases the performers supporting an act will be entertaining to watch in their own right.
In the past years, I’ve had a few of my more prudish friends express shock at some of the humour, believing it sometimes get risqué for a family show. (Not to mention some years, the show will have a strong social commentary and some shows that I’ve seen has focused on issues such as immigration or media induced body image problems). All I can say is that at the show I saw last night, children’s laughter could be heard often and loudly during the performance.
The Melbourne 2009 Show runs from 17th June – 12th July (see the Circus Oz website for other locations) and more details are here.
The tickets vary between $47.00 – $69.90 for Adults, $26-$45.00 for children, with Pensioner & Family rates available.* Tickets available here from ticketmaster;
The (heated) big top is located at Birrarung Marr, between Federation Square and Batman Avenue.
Oh, and while there is a there is a large amount of really interesting history behind the Circus, which has been operating for over 30 years (see their website for the background) there is one thing I wanted to point out;;
Circus Oz calls Melbourne their home town and this year they are looking for a larger place to set up. I’m sure buying a ticket will help them out and give you an enjoyable night out, so everyone wins!
*All information gathered from the web. So if it’s not accurate, it’s my fault and know one else’s. But don’t complain to me, cause I don’t care and will likely get very rude. I mean really, if your not going to double check information you get from some called “mr sketchy” there really isn’t anything I can do for you
[UPDATE] Now crossposted at ‘i found you in melbourne’ here. A wonderful blog for all things Melbourne. Be sure to check it out!
So I had my presentation for that 2IC thing today.
Yes, after much advice I chickened out and didn’t bring up the immanent arrival of the Xzzffaghtians. So please for my sake, look surprised when they get here.
Anyhoo… I finished putting together the presentation at 11:30 Sunday night. Mainly because I found it so boring, I kept putting off… which I suspected I might regret. I was tired and thought getting all my clothes ready for the interview could wait until morning. Little did I know that’s when the real fun would start!
First, to explain, I’m not your traditional corporate type. I’m sort of “did you sleep in a gutter last night?” type. My whole look is mainly designed to make people to want to avoid talking to me. This is evident when it comes to suits. I hardly ever have to wear a suit. I don’t like suits. At least, I don’t like suits on me. I think I need to drop 20kg and earn 20k more before I’ll look good in one. For some reason this means I’ve ended up with nothing but a couple of cheap nasty suits that even I wouldn’t be seen dead in…
But I do have a few dress shirts for when the occasion calls for it. So when I woke up this morning I grabbed my favourite one and decided to give it a quick iron. I had been told after all, that appearance was going to be important.
I dragged the ironing board screaming out of it’s hibernation and get most of the way through ironing the shirt when I notice a big tear in the sleeve. I had no idea how it got there and I was annoyed because it was one of my favourite shirt, but I decided to move on.
Then I realised most of my other shirts weren’t washed. Now this is embarrassing to admit, cause I hadn’t worn them for a while. It’s just that they’re in what has been referred to of late as my ‘laundry pile’ (as opposed to ‘laundry basket’ whatever that is?) and haven’t actually made any of the collections that went as far as the washing machine.
But I did have one clean one. The one I bought for a funeral. Which is black. I only have black dress pants.
I was going as mr sketchy, the corporate goth.
Not what I had mind. But I ironed that shirt and moved onto the next challenge. Shoes. Again, I do have a pair of decent shoes… but since that were black as well, I was starting to feel like I was going to appear dressed as the ghost of future redundancies. I thought that might not send the right message.
I’ve got a pair of work boots that are comfortable but will pass most corporate glances, I decided to risk it. I was busy tying them up, when one of the laces snapped.
Great, I have no spare shoelaces.
I went to the nice shoes and found a shoelace I could steal and use in the shoes I was planning to wear. By this time I think I was meant to get the train 5 minutes earlier.
So, take two at doing up my shoes.
*snap*
Honestly I think I said “oh your fucking kidding me!” a little too loudly for such a peaceful and quiet winter morning. At least, peaceful and quiet outside my flat…
And truly, things only went downhill from there…
Mr Sketchy 